It's All Happening

by Jill McCracken

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    Comes in a jacket with a one-page insert, including all lyrics
    Cover photo by Andy Matthiessen and design by Jill McCracken

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1.
03:23
2.
03:00
3.
05:32
4.
03:31
5.
03:50

credits

released September 2, 2014

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Jill McCracken Ithaca, New York

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Track Name: Hideout
when it gets cold, bundle up
the season change is getting tough
it gets dark these days at noon
closer too impending doom
i know, know it's gonna happen,
something, soon

every day, it's getting worse
this generation's something cursed
and what's worse is no one cares
try to fix it, no one dares
not me, not you or anyone
anywhere

so i huddle in the cave that is my mind
don't you know my body's aching all the time
i'm not getting any younger
there's no shelter from the thunder so
hide out
in my mind

when i get cooped up in my room
the heat is rising, nothing blooms
so i break my restless stare
release myself to evening air
but no, nothing ever changes
way out there

i feel blackbirds coming in
they enter where the wind blows in
flying circles 'round my head
making homes upon my bed
i try, try to feel the words that laura said

"you're not alone"
she breathed it into my bones
"you are not alone"
she breathed it into my bones

but i'm alone

so i huddle in the cave that is my mind
don't you know my body's aching all the time
i'm not getting any younger
there's no shelter from the thunder so
hide out
in my mind
Track Name: Come Closer
i wish the world were upside down
and we could walk around the whole damn town
never looking over shoulders
or wondering
who's there

i wish that i could hear the sounds
i imagine you would be making
if we were lying around
underneath your breath
and into my hair

i want you to come closer

i want to know the ins and outs
of the wrinkles 'round your eyes
i wanna know exactly how
the fault lines in your hands work together
uh huh

i saw when i came in the room
your eyes the size of spring in bloom
as we stacked our winter coats into a pile
i knew i was in trouble

i wanted you to come closer

i want you to come closer

have i crossed a line?
i never break the rules
but with you i wanna break them all the time

i want you to come closer
Track Name: I Wanna
i wanna get in the car with you
and take a tour of all the gas stations
i want to lie down next to you
and watch your eyes dilate with elation
i want, i wanna

i wanna open up all your journals
i wanna read all you've got to say
all the thoughts you've ever thought
i want to tear through them in a day
i want, i wanna

i wanna move to a big apartment with you
with brick walls and high ceilings
i want to move into a tiny closet with a
record player and paint peeling
i want, i wanna

i wanna move to new york with you
you know i don't really wanna go
but i know you miss the city so
i wanna go where you wanna go
i want, i wanna

i wanna meet your brother
and your childhood friends
i wanna study your tattoos
and hear your sixteen year old band
i wanna see what you look like
when your hair is wet
i wanna soak it all in
i don't wanna forget

i wanna stay up late with you
drinking wine and talking shit
i want to rip cigarettes with your mom
even though you know that i won't do it
i want, i wanna

i wanna get up early with you
in the morning when our heads are achin'
i want to walk to the lincoln diner and
order all the eggs and bacon
i want, i wanna

i wanna meet your brother
and your childhood friends
i wanna study your tattoos
and hear your sixteen year old band
i wanna see what you look like
when your hair is wet
i wanna soak it all in
i don't wanna forget

i wanna see you in the middle of the summer
and watch the darkening of your skin
i want to see you at the westy
gettin' weird on tonic and gin
i want, i wanna

you say you'll make a folk punker of me
i say i'll make a punk folker of you
i just wrote an against me! song
and my ani shirt looks good on you
i want, i wanna

i wanna meet your brother
and your childhood friends
i wanna study your tattoos
and hear your sixteen year old band
i wanna see what you look like
when your hair is wet
i wanna soak it all in
i don't wanna forget
Track Name: Fox
you used to be somebody
i didn't know
but your family loved you
then you let yourself go
now you're wearing your sunglasses
ten in the morning
you got me involved
in your life without warning
i wasn't watching the news
i wasn't watching the news

and you turned to me then
and you asked me about
the government shutdown,
was it over by now?
i mustered an answer,
turned back to my food
to give the impression
i wasn't in the mood
i wasn't watching the news
i wasn't watching the news

oh, fox
with whom are you pairin'?
you used to be sharon
now nobody's carin' for you
to strangers you're showing
your shoulders all flecked
since last time i checked, oh,
no one's got respect for you

even though we just met
i know you're a hot mess
'cause i saw you tip a lollipop
to your waitress
you think you're being cute
but candy is not cash
this woman is making a living
and busting her ass
that's more than i can say for you
that's more than i can say for you

then you asked for my number,
said "you're a cool chick,"
and i gave you a fake one
and later found out that you're sick
your family is calling to you
your family is calling to you

oh, fox,
your soul couldn't bear
you're everywhere
everywhere and nowhere, too
i don't even know you
but i know that you're a wreck
i don't know if you know this but
no one's got respect for you
no one's got respect for you
Track Name: It's Hard
just because you want it
because it makes you feel good
doesn't mean you need it
doesn't mean that you should
if i have it really bad for you
it doesn't mean that i will

cry -- i can't;
i know exactly why
i can't; it's more important
my trajectory
is on display for all to see

my old friends
didn't know what to do
in the midst of crying
curled up together so soon
and they had it really bad, i knew
but it don't excuse

bad behavior when you're weak
or treating your friends miserably
and acting very selfishly
and giving up what you believe is true
it's not impossible to break through
so get off the floor, you weeping mess

don't cry -- you can't;
you know exactly why
you can't; and now you're testing
my capacity to stay
calm

to stay calm
to stay calm
to stay calm

and it's hard

it's hard to turn down a love that's given to you
and i know it's shitty that this could happen to you
but there's a long long road ahead of you
and this is not the end of you
it's a long long road ahead of you
and this is not the end of you
it's a long long road ahead of you
and this is not the end of you
it's a long long road ahead of you
and this is not
no, this is not the end

but it's hard